Have you already met yourself?
This week my 13-year-old daughter came to the breakfast table with the following question: “What is my identity anyway? I read that identity is not determined by my colour, my gender, my age or the things I do. So what does determine my identity? What makes me who I am? What makes you who you are?”
Chambers definition ‘identity’ – i-den-tity (n) 1 the state or quality of being a specified person or thing; who or what a person or thing is
Wow what a pretty intense question. Immediately it grabbed my full attention. And she went on and I listened. “Then I am not 13, but my age is 13. I am not a volleyball player, but I play volleyball. I am not a student, but I am at school. I am not Dutch, but I have a Dutch nationality. I am not Janna, but my name is Janna. I am not a daughter, but I have parents.”
Her comments felt a bit awkward at times, especially the last two took me a while to digest. But what a remarkable point she had made.
Together we discovered that if you remove the labels, what remains above all is the human being. How beautiful is that!
How I enjoy these conversations with our children, seemingly out of nowhere the most wonderful questions or theories come up. How incredible to listen and ponder on them together. And we can learn so much from them. It is so inspiring to start a conversation and discover what identity is. Lots of questions and possibly not as many answers.
How often do you identify with your position or role, with the things you do or perform at? Where you come from and where you want to go. They are relevant facts and worth knowing in themselves and of course it also influences what you do. But maybe you are much more than that. I realize that I also often use labels to indicate who I am. Less and less, but I still catch myself doing it.
Together my daughter and I discovered that if you take away the labels, what remains is mainly the human being. How beautiful is that!
Everything is welcome
The human being, with all their beautiful and also the less beautiful sides. The whole person, because that makes us who we really are. Including everything. And above all, don’t get rid of anything, you are completely fine just the way you are. Everything may be there.
My daughter taught me a great lesson in this early morning conversation and I am going to apply it. My name is Nita, I am curious, always busy and at the same time also lazy. I am a dreamer and I have both feet on the ground. I like structure and rebel against hierarchy and the establishment. I am lovingly confrontational and like to be outside. And I enjoy helping people get to know themselves.
Have you already met yourself? Feel free to call and we can schedule a walk together or a meeting with the horses.
And let yourself be surprised by the most beautiful person on earth: YOU.
Go deeper with both feet on the ground, lovingly confrontational and in connection with nature.
