“I kind of forgot myself”
In January 2021 I saw an item on the Dutch news website NOS: Dumoulin stops cycling indefinitely: ‘I kind of forgot myself’.
I don’t follow cycling that much, but these two sentences intrigued me. I have of course seen the name Dumoulin in the news several times. The image I have of Tom Dumoulin is a young man in a tight suit, in top condition with an intense focus on his team and performance; and the will to be 100% successful. A dream career you would think, so what is going on here?
In the article, Dumoulin states: “I want the team to be happy with me, for the sponsors to be happy, for my wife and my family to be happy. That’s why I want to do well for everyone, but I’ve kind of forgotten myself in the past year. What do I, Tom Dumoulin, want out of life right now?” A more than legitimate question and so recognizable.
“I find it impressive how proactive he has been. He really wanted to tackle the problem.”
The comparison is easily made, for both the young and the more experienced professionals in both business and high-risk professions. Full throttle into the career to be successful, to get the most out of it. Being of service down to the last fiber. Exploring boundaries and going on adrenaline. Success is addictive in a way, it leaves you wanting more.
Being ambitious is a great source of energy, you can go harder and further and last longer. It helps you to balance career and family, even when torn between two worlds and then still perform in the different roles side by side. You are an employee or perhaps employer and also mother or father or aunt or uncle, neighbour, sports team member, association member or board member, you name it. And also a partner of a brother or sister. Do not forget your role as a daughter or son with increasing tasks and responsibilities as your parent(s) get older. The energy is very welcome and at the same time not inexhaustible. The first person you lose sight of is often yourself.
And that’s because we are unconsciously driven by patterns and expectations. Expectations from your family of origin, your circle of friends, your current relationship. Or as someone recently put it: “Actually we are all insecure overachievers”. Insecure show-offs, because we have an urge to prove and at the same time don’t really know what we want.
And I was one myself. Without this unconscious and invisible driving force, I don’t know if I would ever have become a partner at a large consultancy firm. It has led to some great adventures, that’s for sure. There are certainly great sides to it, the question is whether it was all a conscious choice.
Wonderful to read, because that takes courage.
A little further on in the news website there is an article with an interview with ex-cyclist Kittel, Dumoulin had contacted him about life questions in recent weeks. Kittel also retired a few years ago: “I find it impressive how proactive he has been. He really wanted to tackle the problem.” Wonderful to read, because that takes courage.
And that’s where it starts. Having the courage to doubt yourself, do I still like what I’m doing today? Sometimes we give no room for doubt, because of certainties such as income or status. And after all, you have gained all that training and work experience, you can’t just put that aside, can you? It doesn’t matter, you can settle for what it is and that can be okay, but you may also leave a part of yourself behind. Do you really enjoy what you are doing, or are you a bystander? Do you experience the adventures yourself, or do you see them through the eyes of other people or from a distance?
Dare to ask yourself these questions and go into discussion with yourself. Dumoulin has the courage and I am sure it will bring him a lot as a person.
Be successful in your career and stay true to yourself.
It moves me every time a person dares to ask themselves the question whether there is more to life and dares to doubt. Nothing is certain, especially not now. And it’s more than worth it to discover who you really are. Listen to yourself, as by doing so you become an inspired leader of your life. Be successful in your career and stay true to yourself.
Do you dare to speak your truth and listen to your desire? Go deeper by immersing yourself in the experience. Then contact me as I would be happy to guide you in that.
Go deeper with both feet on the ground, lovingly confrontational and in connection with nature.
